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By Chloe BryanAs we all anxiously await the Mueller report, a curious theory has emerged: What if Robert Mueller, special counsel of the Russia investigation and former director of the FBI, is just procrastinating?
On a Friday afternoon — a great time to put off work — a lot of people wrote tweets about what Mueller might be up to in his procrastination hole. Sure, they might have done these tweets instead of doing their jobs, but that only makes the tweets better and more appropriate. (I say this because I participated.)
I’ve been in Robert Mueller’s position before and let me tell you, he has not written shit
— Tim Murphy (@timothypmurphy) March 21, 2019
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Robert Mueller sweating in front of his laptop, staring at a Word doc containing only the words “The Mueller Report” and a blinking cursor
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) March 22, 2019
Mueller‘s gonna take himself out to lunch cause he can’t think in his own place and going outside will get the juices flowing. https://t.co/vQrbpY5UuR
— Wenzler Powers (@WenzlerPowers) March 21, 2019
Mueller’s gonna just rest his eyes for a minute and then see if there are any Thin Mints still left in the freezer… https://t.co/safKK0KkE2
— Ashley Parker (@AshleyRParker) March 22, 2019
Mueller’s going to take the car in for service after ignoring that Check Engine light for the last year.
— Ken Cox
(@KenCox) March 22, 2019
Anyway, we’re sure Mueller will send over his report once he gets back from his bike ride, makes a batch of chickpea stew, and does a few ten-minute YouTube workouts.
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