Nothing says the future of finance like a good old-fashioned meltdown, and the upcoming bitcoin cash hard fork has that in spades. This is thanks, in no small part, to a man named Craig Wright. 

Wright, derisively known as “Faketoshi” for his dubious claim that he is in fact Bitcoin creator Satoshi Nakamoto, has gone on a strange rant in support of his version of Bitcoin Cash’s (BCH) future known as Bitcoin SV (Satoshi’s Vision). 

Deep into a rambling, multi-day tweet bender, Wright has taken it upon himself to spew invective at anyone he believes threatens his plans for Bitcoin SV — especially those defending the Roger Ver-backed rival project Bitcoin ABC. 

But before we get too deep in the crypto weeds, some background is in order. 

SEE ALSO: It only took 37 seconds for two bitcoin ‘celebs’ to start fighting on a cruise ship

Those of you whose brains have yet to be rendered functionally useless by cryptocurrency-related inanity may remember that last year Bitcoin itself experienced a so-called hard fork. The split was the result of a disagreement regarding the best way to scale a digital currency on its way to becoming bogged down by increased transactions and associated high fees, and gave birth to Bitcoin Cash (BCH) in the process. 

Bitcoin Cash is now poised to undergo its own Athena moment, scheduled for Nov. 15, with a totally new coin leaping forth from its progenitor’s head. More accurately, the fork will likely result in the creation of two separate coins — each updated from BCH in different ways — as the fight essentially boils down to what specific changes will be made to Bitcoin Cash (not whether to make changes at all). 

With us so far? Oh, and just to make everything more confusing, there are a total of three different proposals for how to best move forward. 

But while the end goal is to improve BCH, no one can quite agree on just what exactly that means. That’s left prominent members of the Bitcoin Cash community all vying for attention with their competing technical solutions. 

And there’s a lot a stake. Bitcoin cash is the fourth largest cryptocurrency by market cap, and whichever proposal gets the most support will likely take a majority of mining power with it. Without that power, the left behind coin could potentially wither — dragging its dollar value down with it.

So with both money and prestige on the line, Wright has decided to fully freak out. 

“And, no you ABSOLUTE cuck,” he tweeted on Nov. 13 in response to a defense of Bitcoin ABC. “Bitcoin IS not even close to a soy boy commitee. It is all use hard assed buggers bending you over to show you the light.  It is capitalism. Enjoy”

Reassuring, right? That tweet was just one of many off-the-rails outbursts from the self-proclaimed Bitcoin creator, and definitely displayed the level of maturity you’d hope to find in someone attempting to steer a cryptocurrency to a brighter future. 

And then there’s the supposed email he sent to Roger Ver. Ver, for those blissfully unaware, was an early promoter of and investor in bitcoin, who later became a full on bitcoin cash evangelist. He now supports Bitcoin ABC. In a Nov. 8 YouTube video, Ver shared what he said was an email to him from Wright.

In the supposed email, Wright once again pushes the questionable claim that he is Satoshi, and threatens Ver with “war.” 

Ver, at least, appears willing to admit that maybe — just maybe — he screwed up by aligning himself with Wright in the past. 

“It’s never easy to admit that you’ve been fooled,” he says in the YouTube video. “Maybe I’ve been fooled.” 

The video, embedded below, continues with Ver making a tortured analogy about Bitcoin ABC’s attempt to exist separately from Bitcoin SV.

“If you wife wants a divorce, you don’t lock her in the closet and say ‘no.’”

So, with just a few days to go until the planned hard fork, the Bitcoin Cash community is faced with an embarrassing meltdown and threats of “war.” 

And while whether Bitcoin ABC or Bitcoin SV will ultimately reign supreme is presently anyone’s guess, one thing is for sure: Dogecoin is starting to look a lot more reasonable.

Do you ever leave a small offering to our Lord and Savior, Danny DeVito, during your restroom breaks? 

A bathroom at Purchase College in New York hides a mildly terrifying secret: The paper towel dispenser leads to a “cavernous shrine” to American icon. 

SEE ALSO: Danny DeVito Is the Best Part of One Direction’s Odd ‘Steal My Girl’ Video

In one video, a student walks through a hole in the bathroom wall where the paper towel dispenser was ripped out, and into an unfinished room spray painted with graffiti. A DeVito cutout ominously lurks in the corner, surrounded by offerings from Purchase students.

“This is so weird,” someone says in the video. 

Weird might be an understatement.

Another tweet shows how the paper towel dispenser hides the shrine from unsuspecting bathroom users. 

In a tweet from last month, a student invited DeVito to visit Purchase for the “secret room that worships” him. The shrine is decked out with a poster of the grinning It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia star, and a small handwritten placard instructing parishioners to “Leave An Offering for Our Lord and Savior Danny DeVito, Patron Saint of Trash Men.”

According to @terreeslavie, the shrine is “really not well known” through the campus, but since it went viral on Tuesday, news of it spread through the student body. She and her friends ventured out to find it one night, and left another picture of DeVito at the altar. 

When asked for the specific location of the shrine, she demurred. 

“It’s in a bathroom,” @terreeslavie said over Twitter DM. “I can’t reveal which though. It’s confidential.”

According to another student who tweeted about it, @emfriedchicken, the shrine is somewhere in Purchase’s Visual Arts building. 

“One of my friends said she heard that the paper towel dispenser comes out of the wall,” she said over Twitter DM. “And she wanted to see what is behind it, so we went one Friday night at like midnight … and there it was. Danny DeVito.” 

It’s “tradition” to leave something for DeVito, so @emfriedchicken and her friends left coupons from a nearby restaurant. 

“We could tell it’s been there a while because there was paper towels on the floor in the secret room,” she said. “And our campus only uses air dryers now!”

The shrine has been on campus for a while — @emfriedchicken said that older students remember the sacred space as well. 

SUNY Purchase has not made a public comment on the mysterious shrine, or the secrets it holds, yet. 

If you ever find yourself on Purchase’s campus, maybe you can offer the cardboard DeVito an egg in this trying time.

UPDATE: Nov. 13, 2018, 9:02 p.m. EST This post has been updated with comments from students. 

“Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)” may be a decade old, but Beyoncé‘s finger-wagging anthem hasn’t lost its shine for Felicity Jones. It is now confirmed that the actress has used the hit to inspire two of her most high-profile, kick-ass roles: the fictional heroine Jyn Erso in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, and the real-life icon Ruth Bader Ginsburg in the upcoming On the Basis of Sex.

Jones first discussed her love for Beyoncé in an interview with E! News in 2016, calling “Single Ladies” her favorite tune — “Jyn’s a single lady,” she reasoned — and saying she used Queen Bey as her character guide. “I think she’s someone who has incredible power and is devoted to what she does, but she also seems like a very nice person,” Jones said. “I think that’s very important to emulate.”

Almost two years later, the actress’s On the Basis of Sex co-star Cailee Spaeny revealed that Jones was still finding inspiration in the 2008 hit while “trying to loosen up” before her scenes as RBG. “We tried to replicate all the moves just to get all the jitters out,” Spaeny told The Hollywood Reporter.

Of course, Jones associating Beyoncé with her most empowering roles makes sense — it was Bey who declared girls “run this motha” and who regularly inserts female-centric words and symbols into her performances. Given Bey’s vocal stance on feminism, it stands to reason that she’d happily lend her art to others spreading the same message of power to girls everywhere.

News of Jones’s undying admiration for Bey dropped on Tuesday (November 13), the same day as the second trailer for On the Basis of Sex arrived. Check out her Beyoncé-fueled performance in the preview below.

Is this the end of JUUL memes?

JUUL announced a number of new measures to try to prevent teens from using its products on Tuesday.

Notably, it will stop allowing retailers to sell flavored pods until they install advanced age verification software from JUUL. The company is also discontinuing its own Facebook and Instagram accounts, and has asked social media companies to help remove youth-oriented JUUL content from its platforms — including the prohibition of posts depicting JUULing and vaping by underage users. 

SEE ALSO: More Teens Vape Than You Realize

The new initiatives come days after it was reported that the FDA would prohibit convenience stores and gas stations from selling flavored pods. Rather than wait for FDA enforcement, JUUL has apparently taken proactive measures that go further than the FDA’s new policy. The FDA would have allowed tobacco and specialty vape shops to continue selling flavored pods, while JUUL’s new retailer policy will only allow this if the shops use JUUL’s Social Security number-matching age verification software.

“Our intent was never to have youth use JUUL products,” JUUL CEO Kevin Burns wrote in the statement. “But intent is not enough, the numbers are what matter, and the numbers tell us underage use of e-cigarette products is a problem. We must solve it.”

Flavors are on the front line in the fight against youth vaping. The Campaign for Tobacco Free Kids says that flavors make it easier for young people to start vaping. So now, the Mango, Fruit, Creme, and Cucumber JUULpod flavors are only available through JUUL’s website.

To buy anything on JUUL’s site, users already have to verify their age and identity with their Social Security numbers. JUUL said that that process is about to get even stricter: by the end of the year, JUUL will also require two-factor authentication to create an account, and it will even use “a real-time photo requirement to match a user’s face against an uploaded I.D.”

JUUL said it’s also continuing its fight against counterfeiters and unauthorized sellers in its attempt to ensure its own site (with age verification) is the only place people can buy the product. 

Another big part of JUUL’s attempt to curb teen use is social media. In July, JUUL discontinued using models on social media in order to stop glamorizing the product. But JUUL images and memes have spread on social media outside of JUUL’s own social presence; the #DoIt4Juul hashtag on Instagram has over 7,200 posts, many conspicuously by teenagers, about how they love their JUULs.

JUUL notes that while it never had a Snapchat, even removing its Facebook and Instagram presence is a small part of the larger social media battle.

“User-generated social media posts involving JUUL products or our brand are proliferating across platforms and must be swiftly addressed,” Burns wrote. “There is no question that this user-generated social media content is linked to the appeal of vaping to underage users.”

JUUL says that it has already worked with social media companies to remove “thousands” of pieces of JUUL content that encourage teen vaping. But it also says that it has reached out to Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter for additional help curbing this content on their platforms. 

“We have asked Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat for their assistance in policing unauthorized, youth-oriented content on their platforms,” Burns wrote. “We asked that each platform prohibit the posting of any content that promotes the use of cigarettes or e-cigarettes by underage users.”

Snap told Mashable that it already prohibits all posts marketing tobacco products to people of all ages, not just teens. The company did not say whether it would work to prevent the actual posting of JUUL content by underage users, or offer any further comment on JUUL’s request. Twitter and Instagram declined to comment. Mashable did not hear back from Facebook or JUUL before this article was published. 

Social media companies are already grappling with how to police content on their platforms, and may not be eager to add another thorny item to their to-do lists. Then again, fighting teen vaping may be much more straightforward than, say, hate speech, so this is an initiative where social media companies could have a positive impact.

The FDA is still investigating whether JUUL may have marketed products to teens. It has also undertaken a $60 million ad campaign to educate teens about the risks of vaping, which include addiction to nicotine and other health risks. 

After months of negative headlines, JUUL has gone above and beyond the FDA’s requests, and seems eager to be seen as a partner, not an adversary, in the fight against teen vaping.